Happy Days are Coming

Today is wonderful. The flowering trees are beautiful and fragrant. Although it has rained all night and day long it is still a wonderful day.

Work has been amazing. I get such satisfaction from working. My sister had her third child today. A boy. He is adorable. It does not hurt as bad as I thought....I get to sleep tonight and tomorrow night.. I truly do want my own children but I realize I have missed that boat and so I am waiting for the next vessel to come along.

My eyes are super green. I want to focus on them...and the few wrinkles that are surrounding my eyes. I turned 36 Friday. It was a day....I am now closer to 40 than 30. How sad. truly sad. I have not accomplished many of the 'standard LDS' things. But I have worked hard and been a good woman and tired to follow the commandments of God to the best of my ability. I do not get love. I do not  get a family. But I do have friends who blog and share their families with me. I feel part of their family. It is comforting to know they are out there.

I spent my birthday with Dan in Hermiston. Why? I had to do something. I am fine. It is fine....What I want to focus on is that Thursday Dan calls me up and says what do you want for your birthday? I said I had not thought about it since I assumed you would forget. He did not forget. He said he called my sister Jo Ann to find out what I wanted and what she was getting me. I was irritated. Why is he calling my family? Well I let it go. I think of something I want. I tell Dan. He said too bad it is too late he already got me something. Well Friday comes and goes and no present from Dan. I ask about it on Sunday. He said he did get me something....a $4.99 breakfast at Shari's. I just stared at him. And it hit me like a brick. He is an ass.

I want to thank Josh. He has helped me in a way no one else has. I appreciate him and his listening ear. I am truly thankful.

I also want to thank Jo Ann. Her packages and letters give me such joy. It is wonderful to get snail mail. I love her thoughtfulness. I love her so much!

Rain-Free Day

My brother Daniel came to visit me. He showed up late last night. We slept in a titch today and after a great breakfast at Black Bear Diner (Daniel voted best OJ, sausage, and pancakes) we headed to historic hwy 30.
This highway is lovely. It has a sacred grove appearance. Daniel who has been to the grove confirmed my theory. There are several waterfalls and small and large hikes. We went on a small one. I almost died. The hike was 2/3 mile round trip. I am embarrassed to say this. Daniel laughed at me and told me I had to exercise every day. I laughed because he is my younger bro. I should be schooling him. Anyway, the hike was amazing. Here we are at Bridal Falls.

I am getting good at self portraits. This only took me one time. Still have those lame sunglasses on my head ha ha ha.

After the hike and a trip to Portland's Saturday Market complete with elephant ears Daniel and I met Dan and Anna at Wunderland. It is a nickelcade. So fun so germy. We gave Anna all our tickets. She got Daniel this super bad. He was trying to to the Jones look away stare but it was lost in translation.

His hearing aid was chewed by a dog. So he is without any assistance. I did not realize how much the hearing aids helped him. It has been a challenge communicating today. I guess I am going to check out the deaf branch tomorrow. I am excited.

My counselor says I am still attached to Dan. He thinks it is alright. Yesterday my name was removed from the loan and title of his vehicle. I was thrilled. I ran down there signed the papers and almost jumped for joy. It has been a concern for me, knowing there was a loan in my name and I was not in control of ensuring payments were made on time. I am so happy but still attached. Well at least I am not crying daily anymore so I am happy about it. Life is good.

Help Hygienists

Oregon Dental Conference was this past weekend. Thursday, Friday and Saturday full of great speakers and hundreds of vendors. The classes were amazing. They were exactly what I wanted to learn about....that is what happens when you fill out the course evaluations ha ha ha. Well my classes brought to mind several questions. I would like some help with them.

1. What is the difference between periodontitis and periodontal disease?
I have a very strong memory of Jeff in the pod next to me explaining that the patient did not have periodontal disease but had periodontitis. It has scarred me and I have had a hard time letting myself use that word. I know it is silly but he just rubbed me the wrong way. Now I am over my pettiness and would like to know the difference.

2. Is it better to so OCD on a tooth and remove tooth structure and create this hourglass root surface or leave the roughness (which might be root surface) or refer it to get a flap laid etc.?
I just dont know. I hate reshaping the roots. I hate leaving roughness. What do I do?

3. Leukoplakic lesions. . . watch or refer?
The speakers said you cannot diagnose white patches without a biopsy. But biopsy-ing every lesion is a little redundant but then I am worried about missing cancer. I guess I need more practice identifying those lesions.

4. Lasers??? How do I get training. My current DDS does not believe in them. I am afraid I am going to be left behind if I do not get some training to stay current. Some of the offices here have been using lasers for 15+ years. I am so behind.

I guess that is about it. Any advice would be appreciated.

Weekend Fun

It is a Delta tradition to eat 10 cent hot dogs. My sister Jo Ann came to see me in Portland instead of enjoying hot dogs in Delta. Dan met us for dinner and he bought her a hot dog.


Today Jo Ann and I along with Dan...went to the Maryhill Art Museum across the Columbia River on the Washington side. Here is some lawn art and a peacock. It was a wonderful visit to the museum.

Jo and I at Historcal Falls. One of the many waterfalls in the columbia river gorge.

Self portrait at Multnomah Falls. Only a Utah girl would have her sunglasses out while it was raining. So far Jo Ann and I have had a great time. It has rained every single day. And is forecasted to rain more. I missed listening to conference. I feel bad about it. But it has been good to have Jo here with me. Even though I am missing my family in Delta-they are eating cotton candy, playing cards, listening to conference and having fun-I am trying to enjoy my life here and now.

Thank You

I dont have a cute child to take a pic of so....here I am ha ha ha

Today Dan got the last of his stuff out of my apartment. What a sad lonely day. It is horrible. How my heart is breaking.

Enough of that. My apartment is empty now. And to help myself feel better I took extra care this morning to look good for church. It has been a while since all I do is cry I figure why put contacts in, why put makeup on why do my hair just pull it in a pony tail. So today I looked good and felt good. I tried to capture my cuteness but I failed. (I will be single forever since I think this is looking good....ha ha ha)

What else is new. I seem to be failing at several things I try ha ha ha.

I am an emotional eater. I am stressed, sad, mad, hurt, and scared. I wanted some French Silk Chocolate Pie. I googled recipes trying to stall my craving. I caved after Dan shut the door and I was done bawling.

Look at this beautiful chocolaty-ness

Each egg needed 5 minutes of whipping. After all the ingredients and about 25 minutes of whipping.

This is the finished product. It is good. It will do the job but did not satisfy my craving for a piece of Shari's (local restaurant chain like Marie Calendar's) French Silk Chocolate Pie. But pretty close. I think it needs more chocolate-or a deeper chocolate flavor. It is sweet and creamy I just wanted a deeper darker chocolate.

Natalie Carrigan (formerly Jones-she to has been down the road I am on) from WSU and I went to the temple on Friday and had a wonderful lunch. I am so lucky she has moved here. While divorce is horrible and miserable and I am sad Natalie (and Maria and Korbin and Heidi and countless others) had to go through it I am glad there is understanding for me and my sadness and ickiness. I am so lucky to have great friends. I also know you all are praying for me. I can feel strength and I wonder where it comes from and my heart was told it was all of your prayers. I thank you so much for your prayers. I feel the love and strength from you and your faithfulness. Thank you from the depths of my heart.

Best Boss Ever

I have said this before; I have the best boss. And I am going to say it again....I have THE best boss. Nikki was our front office ninja. She is amazing. She chose to leave our office for one closer to her house--an office of 3 mormon dentist and 5 RDH and tons off staff...all in the same ward ha ha ha. Nikki is not LDS but knows the values and greatness etc. The person hired to replace her was Hannah. Stupid Hannah is what I said in my head when I thought of her. She changed things and I guess I hate change. But I was trying to be a team player. She would not sit with me at lunch. I figured I smelled. She would not go out to eat with Kym and me. We thought she was poor. Well Kym started hating her. Then Nikki calls Kym and says there is a position at her office for Kym. Kym interviews and gets the job. It is a job as Hygiene Coordinator. More hours, better hours and more pay. How can she refuse. So she gives her notice. I cry.
Dr M goes into a trance like state. Hannah is doing a jig. At the end of the day Dr M says Kym I cannot loose you what will it take to keep you. After a long talk it is decided that Hannah needs to go. The next day Dr M pulls me aside and confirms my dislike of Hannah.
Hannah is gone. Bonnetta has taken her place. I love Bonnetta. Well Bonnetta has been working without training of how our office does things....I mean a front office is a front office but there are little quirks etc. And since Hannah could not be asked to train her replacement Bonnetta is making a go alone. She is great. Well Dr M did payroll this week since Bonnetta has only worked 3 days. I get my pay stub from a panicked Dr since he knows we all have direct deposit. He was not aware that we got pay stubs ha ha ha ha. I look at mine and there is 10 extra hours. I was like wow I worked more than I thought. Upon further investigation I found out Dr M called in my hours wrong. He said he would take care of it.
An hour later he comes into my op and whispers...consider it a bonus but do not tell anyone.

WOW! I got paid 10 extra hours. Being honest and telling him totally worked out for me! How great is my dentist? He gives me insurance, 2 raises in 5 months, 10 hours free, he has given me so much. But the most important thing is this....he backs me up each and every time. I saw a patient who marked no on tobacco use in health history. His palate was grey and looked like a smoker. I found out he did start using tobacco 2 months ago. I told him his palate did not look right and that I would have sworn he had smoked for 20 years. Dr M backed me up and told the patient that he was probably prone to cancer and to stop right now....exactly what I said. My last office the DDS would have said watch it.
Then I saw this one area on the buccal mucosa on 30 that was not right. It was leukoplakic. It was the only spot. etc. Dr M talked to him and referred him to an oral surgeon. We have not heard back yet. One more patient had a 5 mm pocket on the mesial of 4 . Then 4 months later it was a 5mm. But the xray showed significant vertical boneloss. I pointed it out. Dr M probed and got the same and referred him to the periodontist. He said exactly what I said...that bone loss and recession was happening in this area. My last office....WATCH. They never backed me up when i saw tissue anomalies or tried to get patients to quit tobacco. I now have this great dr who appreciates me-he called me once on a Saturday to tell me that he valued my patient care ethics. He subbed at another office and the next day he came to work pulled me aside and gave me a raise for being a great RDH. He said the one at his friends office was horrible. I know he values me and I know he trusts my knowledge and opinion on our patients perio health. I am so lucky to work there. We are a great team.

Stormy Days

This is the beach at Seaside Oregon.

It was a stormy day. The waves were rough, brown, sandy and foamy. After this storm blew in there was a rainbow.

I was enchanted by the foam. It scooted across the sand rapidly as the wind blew strong and constant. This foam fascinated me. I guess my only excuse is that I have been land locked most of my life and have not experienced this phenomenon. I loved it. I arrived at the beach at high tide. There was not much beach to drive on. My truck had waves lapping at the tires. For some reason the power of the wind, the anger of the waves and the churning of the water and the movement of the tide made me a little nervous. I am unaccustomed to this raw power.

I liked it ha ha ha.

I enjoyed my therapeutic day at the beach. I had some self realization that was wonderful for my soul. I am working hard at getting myself back. I am amazed at how much I have let Dan change me. I thought I was stronger than that.

Well I hope you enjoy the cold west coast scenes.