Light in the dark mist

While I have been experiencing some of the saddest, meanest, most tear filled days I had 2 wonderful days at work. Tuesday I saw some of my favorite patients. My clientele are wonderful. They are consistent. They stay on their recalls. I make their appointment before they leave. They enter it in their phone, we remind them via email and they show up. I have some cancellations per day but rarely do I have a no show. My patients are professional. They are top high-end lawyers, judges, accountants, clothing buyers, architects, doctors, naturopaths, plastic surgeons, and the inventor of the Jasper Jumper ( I love him!). Tuesday I was lucky to have some of my regular 3 month recalls who I have now seen about 4 times. They are shocked to see me still in the office. The dr who owned the practice before Dr Mueller was a hygienist before she was a dentist and went through RDH every 6-8 months. My patients are not used to having someone stay for so long. I think they like that I am constant and now that I have proved I am not leaving they are starting to open up a little. It is fun to hear about the law cases and the new shoes Nike is making and the newest specialty water to drink. I am rambling....One patient in particular is a legal assistant for a high profile divorce lawyer. She gave me some hints and where to get info for my impending occasion. I was so grateful she was my patient that day. I have been reading a Divorce handbook about how to file and the difference between mediation and court divorce, family court and divorce court etc. It was feeling overwhelmed. The paperwork is intimidating.

Later that same day I saw a gentleman who only has mandible teeth. He has an upper denture. His is milking the lower until the day he succumbs to a denture. When I saw him for the first time a year ago he had serious tarter subgingivally on the anterior teeth. I was a little surprised because he had been in every 3 months for years. I took an xray and started working. I quickly realized why the tarter was there. He has a super strong lower lip. He would tense up that lip and I could not get into his 7mm pocket to clean it out. I got him numb, I used a cotton roll to help give me some room but I still failed. I thought I had gotten tons of stuff off and I had; but not everything. In April I took another xray and there were 2 big chunks left. I worked and worked on them. Then in August I tried again. I got one....Then Wednesday I got the other!!!! When he left I shouted I got the calculus!!! Dr M comes into my room to see the commotion and laughed at me showing the big black chunk I had salvaged on a 2x2. I have been working on that chunk for a year and I finally won. I love that my Dr did not freak out and wonder why I had not gotten it off before. I am so glad I got it off. I am sure I will get some tissue resolution like I have in the rest of his mouth. I was just so happy.

I had my yearly review about 2 weeks ago. Dr M said how he liked what I was doing and all our online reviews were fantastic about me....blah blah blah. he gave me a raise in October and at my review he said we would evaluate my pay in June. I was ok with that. But Thursday morning I get to work and Dr M pulls me aside and offers me another raise. He said I was a wonderful employee etc. I laughed because Wednesday I was a bear. I had fought with Dan all morning before work and was just in a mean mood. I cried between patients etc....but I got that dumb tarter off!!! So even though my days are dark and I am mean there is some good in my life. I am so grateful for the raise and great patients and dumb tarter!

Yesterday the sun was out shining all day. It was 57 degrees and so wonderful! I am looking forward to today where I am meeting Natalie--Weber classmate for lunch and then off to my first counseling session! I am pretty excited about this because I am a mess mentally. I need some tools and direction to get my brain in order. It is going to be a wonderful day.