November 2008 I started this afghan. I was married on November 1, 2008. Today I finally finished it. It is wonderful. It is soft and amazing and up for grabs. Yesterday Dan and I decided that it would be best and necessary for him to move out by the end of March. I am relieved he is going. I am glad. I am sad. I am a dork and gave into Dan again last night. He is such a user of me. I am ready for him to be out of my life. I feel bad that i could not make it work. I feel like I should have tried harder and forgave more. I know men are not perfect. I am not perfect. I expect perfection though. I hold myself to high standards and expected Dan to be the same so every time he drank, smoked, slept instead of going with me to church, did not do the dishes, never cleaned the bathroom I would freak out. He never got upset at me for being late with dinner, or making something not very good. He never freaked out if I did not do the dishes. I feel so mean. I am sorry I was so selfish and wanting him to hold to his word of marrying me in the temple. But oh well no one is perfect especially me. I finished this afghan at the end of my marriage. I am not sure if I want the memories of it or not. Part of me wants to hold onto the afghan and the memories and another part of me says screw it kill all memories and move on. Either way it is hard and sad.
9 comments:
Mair that is a beautiful afghan! I'm glad that you are finding some resolve in all of this. I can't imagine how hard this whole process has been. We're keeping you in our prayers!!
dear sister, you are beautiful! and im coming to see you!!! i really really am! i love you and cant wait to see your face! love love love love love love love love!
it is beautiful, you really are talented! i'm sorry for the situation you are in :( it breaks my heart. keep your head up and stay positive, you are amazing!
It's very beautiful! Too bad it will make you feel sad to keep it. I also LOVE the moon pic. What kind of camera do you have??
Mair we love you. I am so sorry you were dealt this card. You are the best woman I have ever met. And I know you will be stronger from this. Stay close to the lord he will help you get through this. Love you Jenni
I don't think you want to burn it, yet. But, maybe just hold on to it for a minute and see.
Take pride in that afghan! I could never make something like that. You are so talented and amazing. I know you made the right decision; stop second-guessing yourself and look into the future.
I totally understand your bittersweet feelings at pregnant patients. I love that Melissa had her second baby, but now I kind of want it to be me in those brand-new-baby-hospital pictures. But then I would have to get married again...ugh...
The afghan tuned out great! There is such great satisfaction in finishing things and moving on to the next project, whatever it may be. Good luck, I think the world of you!
Your afghan is awesome!! You are such a crafty little thing! ;-) My vote is to take a picture of the afghan for memory's sake, and give it to a homeless person. Pay it forward. :-)
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