Today Dan got the last of his stuff out of my apartment. What a sad lonely day. It is horrible. How my heart is breaking.
Enough of that. My apartment is empty now. And to help myself feel better I took extra care this morning to look good for church. It has been a while since all I do is cry I figure why put contacts in, why put makeup on why do my hair just pull it in a pony tail. So today I looked good and felt good. I tried to capture my cuteness but I failed. (I will be single forever since I think this is looking good....ha ha ha)
What else is new. I seem to be failing at several things I try ha ha ha.
I am an emotional eater. I am stressed, sad, mad, hurt, and scared. I wanted some French Silk Chocolate Pie. I googled recipes trying to stall my craving. I caved after Dan shut the door and I was done bawling.
Look at this beautiful chocolaty-ness
Each egg needed 5 minutes of whipping. After all the ingredients and about 25 minutes of whipping.
This is the finished product. It is good. It will do the job but did not satisfy my craving for a piece of Shari's (local restaurant chain like Marie Calendar's) French Silk Chocolate Pie. But pretty close. I think it needs more chocolate-or a deeper chocolate flavor. It is sweet and creamy I just wanted a deeper darker chocolate.
Natalie Carrigan (formerly Jones-she to has been down the road I am on) from WSU and I went to the temple on Friday and had a wonderful lunch. I am so lucky she has moved here. While divorce is horrible and miserable and I am sad Natalie (and Maria and Korbin and Heidi and countless others) had to go through it I am glad there is understanding for me and my sadness and ickiness. I am so lucky to have great friends. I also know you all are praying for me. I can feel strength and I wonder where it comes from and my heart was told it was all of your prayers. I thank you so much for your prayers. I feel the love and strength from you and your faithfulness. Thank you from the depths of my heart.
9 comments:
mair, my heart aches for you as well, but you know what is best for yourself and the big picture. You are a strong person and will make it through. I know with the close friends you mentioned you have a great source of strength and support. I didn't know about natalie, that sucks. :( Does she live in oregon too?
for now, enjoy that pie! it looks amazing....and so do you...don't even say you dont!
I'm so sorry that you're sad! I know it sounds trite, but things will get better. That pie looks fabulous and I wish I was there to share it with you. I'm so glad Nat is there to hang out with you. Remember if you need anything, let me know!
I want some!
The pie looks yummy!
Mair... you look awesome in the picture. I wished I could be there too give you a big hug. Heres a memory that maybe will cheer you up.... do you remember Cody climbing that cherry tree in the backyard during the summer? Do you remember going on that long drive to Panguitch over the mountain and we were jammin to Lifehouse? I am sure this is a horrible- maybe the most horrible time in your life- but remember life has major ups and major downs, so it will get better. Also this quote came to mind but its probably not verbatum.... Hard things get easier. Not that the task is easier, but that our will power increases as we push through the hard things. Ok, so I hope you know what quote I was going for. I completely massacred it. LOVE and miss you girl!
You will survive! You are strong and you can do it! Your picture looks fabulous too!
You are such a beautiful girl! I am so sorry that things really suck right now but I know that it will get better soon. In the meantime, you are definitely entitled to Chocolate Silk Pie! Wish I had some!
Mairnan you ARE beautiful. Before I even read what you wrote, I was thinking man, Mair looks good! :) And that pie looks absolutely delightful. I don't know if I've ever thought, hmmm I want French Silk Chocolate Pie. But now, after this post I will have that thought, probably many, many times :) Mair you're one of the strongest, level-headed gals I know. You'll pull through this and even amaze yourself! And remember if you ever need a heli ride and warm beach, we're only a flight away :)
Mair I will start posting pictures of you on my blog and you can be my kid. You will just have to come live with me so we can recreate your first walk, words, we could do a creative number with first bath? Let me know. Love you
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