2nd Installment-no pics to break up the monotony

Last Tuesday  received a call from Dr S from Pioneer Pacific College. He offered me a job. I had applied for a teaching position at this crazy school back in March He said he had kept my application in hopes that I would accept a position when there was an opening. I was all sorts of flattered that someone kept my resume for 8 months when I cannot get a single dental office or chain pharmacy to call me for an interview. I do not know why I look so bad on paper that no one will call me.

I was thrilled at the chance to teach pharmacy technician classes at the overpriced college. I am not ashamed to say I would teach at this school. I know they are crazy but I know I would enjoy teaching and would love to get some experience to build my resume. I also would love to have some more income!

I called Dr S back and he said he had a position available for 12 hours a week some night classes and some day. I mentioned I worked during the day. He told me he would call me back the following morning when he got into his office and we could work out a schedule. Well he did not call. He called the following night-I let it go to voicemail. He said he worked all day rearranging the schedule so that I would have only night classes. He asked me to call him anytime Friday. I called him Friday 3 times and left 2 messages. I heard nothing back until Tuesday (two days ago). He urgently expresses how he has to meet me TODAY and that he needs to get me hired so I can be ready for the new term.

By now I am a little irritated with Dr S. How come he was so irritated and urgent with me when I was the one doing everything I could to get this job. I was in Utah. I could not meet him. He was the one who had not called me back. It was frustrating.

In the meantime I left friends and family in Utah. I cried and cried. I was not at all excited to go home to my empty, cold, dark apartment. I walked into the apartment and after turning up the heat I logged onto KSL to look for jobs in Utah. I decided I was moving back. There was a job in Highland Heights. I applied.

Tuesday I told my Dr that I applied for a Utah job and he was torn. He wanted me to be happy and said he would give me a great reference; but he wanted me to stay. He even offered to take my last patient so I could leave and go meet Dr S. My dr hates to do cleanings and so I knew that I was so lucky to have him as a boss. He really wants me to stay.

So Dr S. . . I called him Tues before I left work and he said he would have to call me back. I was frustrated with him. I do not have a car and was going to buy Dan's car-out of desperation- just to get to this job. Dr S finally called me back and said. . . Mary Ann how did you hear about us? I was surprised. . . I said ummm you called me last week. Needless to say the conversation turned to how soon I could meet him. I said not for a few days. I then mentioned that I had plane tickets for Christmas in Utah. He said Oh, I cannot hire you then. I don't have anyone to cover those classes.  There you go. I did not get the job.  I am secretly relieved. Dr S was a scatterbrain. Yet I would love to work 12 hours a week teaching. Longest story ever.

I am conflicted. My lease is up. I am homesick. I am lonely. I am TERRIFIED to make a decision. I obviously cannot be trusted to make good decisions. My last major decision turned out shitty. I am paralyzed with fear of making the wrong choice. What do I do? Do I move back to Utah? Do I date Josh? Do I stay in Portland? Do I buy Dan's car? Do I renew my lease? What do I do? ? ? ?