Mairs Pitty Party

I am ridiculous! I cannot believe myself. Less than a month ago I got a 20% raise and life in the dental world was amazing! Yesterday I had to fight all my emotions and instinct not to quit. Right now-this very minute I feel like the worst RDH in the world. I feel like my Drs are less than satisfied with my work and that I am leaving deposit everywhere in the mouth. So in honor of Crystal I will start my pity party with a list....
1. My doc told me I had left plaque on the last couple of patients!
2. I could not remember how to use the Diagnodent!
3. When I see a patient I saw 6 months ago I wonder if I left stuff and that is why they are so heavy this time
4. When a patient request a RDH other than me I get all butt sore-why?
5. I had to look up what familial tremors were on my patients Hx!
6. I had to give my first wisdom tooth extraction injections and had to ask which ones and how many carps go in each spot.
7. I had to look up how to do a buccal injection!
8. I need to go BACK to remedial scaling school right now!

Ok the party is over. So don't cry for me hygienists! ha ha ha. No really I have had these enormous almost debilitating emotions of inadequacy. I hate that I am not perfect. I hate that my brain cannot recall everything I stuffed into it during school. I hate that have to be called on the spot for missing plaque. I hate that my logical brain that tells me I am doing alright is quieter than my emotional brain which is loudly pointing out my faults and failures. I hate that I feel like I cannot get all the calculus off and therefore should not be a RDH-I am doing more harm than good. I hate that these feelings are lingering and have not receded!

I know tomorrow is another day and that I can and will do better tomorrow! I know I graduated from WSU, which means I was fully trained and taught to be a great RDH. I know I will rubber cup better tomorrow and NEVER leave plaque again! I know I will give each patient my best effort to clean their teeth! I know these feelings of failure will end and I will be right as rain again soon! I know I have bored you to tears with this post but it has been very cathartic for me!

A REAL Callus!

Yesterday I went to see 'Disturbia'. It was a great thriller of a movie with the right amount of gore for me. I enjoyed the movie immensely. As me and my friend were leaving the theater and were in her car I started to relax. I had not realized that I was so tense-a sign of a good thrilling movie. As we were discussing the movie I realized that I had been picking skin off of my finger. I examined the ring finger on my right hand and realized that I had unconsciously picked the outer layer of skin off-another sign of a good thriller. I sat there looking at my finger wondering how I could have picked skin off my finger when I realized it was my fulcrum finger and that I had a real life callus! I remember being in school and looking at my fulcrum finger wondering when I would get a full blown hard callus. Well that day has arrived! As I am typing right now I am acutely aware of the callus on my finger, how did I not notice it before? Anyway I just wanted to share this momentous occasion with you!

My Grand Adventure

I just got back from 5 days in California! My dearest friend Andrea and I went to Disneyland for 3 days. We got the Hopper pass and hopped around all weekend. Here we are eating Churros! I have been to D-land 3 other times while this was Andrea's first time. We maximized our Fast Pass capability so we avoided a lot of the holiday lines, which were GINORMOUS.

I was the designated photographer for other people. I was laughing as about the 10th person asked me to take their photo. I laughed harder when a little Oriental woman told me I did not take the picture right and I had to do it again. I guess I was still glowing from my fabulous victory in the workforce so I was extra easy to approach.

Speaking of being easy to approach, Friday night after the electrical parade at California Adventure a man came up to me and gave me 7 fast passes for California Screaming-the big roller coaster that is amazingly fun, breathtaking, ear splitting, stomach lurching! Sadly, I was too tired and so we passed them on. Then on Saturday another man approached me and gave me 2 fast passes for Indiana Jones! How great is my life?! Let me just tell you. I had so much fun in Disneyland! I have such great memories of this icing on top of the already triple layer chocolate cake of a week!!!

CDC has come through. I will be staying in Cedar and will be working for CDC. Breanna told me that 1 of 2 things would come out of this situation. She stated that "1. decide you are happy where you are at, and enjoy it even more. or, 2. Recognize there is more out there and gives you the guts to try something new." Luckily I learned both! Working at the other office for one day I learned that I do work in a great office with some great assistants (Alisha!!). After working in that office and being offered a job at the wage I desired gave me the 'guts' to apply my money making skills and earn a raise. I have always been told that the first year of practice is when you learn even more that you did in school. Well, it is true. These past 9 months have been the best textbook ever! I have learned that I have been trained to be a great RDH, that I have the personality to deal with all patients, that I have an enormous earning potential and that I have tons more to learn.
Thank you for reading.