Sunday, November 16, 2014

Christmas at Gardner Village.

The girls from work like to go to Witchfest at Gardner Village. We have gone for 2 years. This year we had a tragic funeral the day after we planned on going. So we postponed it until this weekend--thinking we would be ahead of the crowds for Christmas. I have not been to Gardner Village for Christmas. It was wonderful!

The candy store had the biggest black bear I have seen. It is just soft and snuggly and wonderful! 
The elf displays were just 100% adorable! The details and creativity are impressive! 


Just adorable to me!
I had a great day out with Eden. Out of 4 women who decided and agreed to go only 2 (me and one other) came. I am thankful for Eden for staying committed and not flaking out. 
Flaking out, sick kids, dog being wounded by car, or whatever the excuse/reason it is hard for me. I am not sure if it is the failed expectations or the reaffirmation that I dont matter. It hurts. It just hurts.
I am tired of women. Consistently in my life I make plans with women who claim to be my friend and most of the time they flake out with one of thousands of excuses I have heard. While in my 20's I believed the women, forgave, repeated, was stood up again. In my 30's I drastically reduced my female friends and started becoming a loner and home body. Now I am 40 and I am just sick of it. I think I will just not agree to go on any girls day out adventures, lunches, or parties. 
Why dont women keep their word? Am I picking looser women to hang out with? The only thing I can think of is no one wants to hang out with me. I get that but dont invite me! Dont agree to come with me! Dont lie to me!
My heart just cannot take the rejection. I am tired of taking time and planning to go somewhere just to end up going alone. 
Oh well. I guess I will just continue with my belief that I am not meant to have a female friend. And it is awkward having male friends now that I am married. I just feel so alone and friendless.  

1 comment:

Ruth said...

Oh how I wish we could go to lunch once a week, plan time together. I LONG for it. My whole life is my children and work. I do not mind, but how I wish I could go somewhere with someone to just be and visit. Husbands are good, but not having a friend. I miss you terribly. Thank you for being my friend.