Sunday, March 08, 2015

Sister strength

Sheesh Ken Bishop family is mean. Ken Bishop is my sister Lori Bishop father in law. Lori husband died in 2012 from colon cancer. flashback here.  In the last 2 years I have watched as the Bishop family has taken Lori's home of 15 years and farm her husband worked plus his 'out of town truck'. I have watched as they took the children out of school without permission. I watched as her mother in law passed away from cancer and Lori was not invited to the hospital or had her name or the children's name mentioned in the obituary.

This past weekend I got to watch as the Bishop family (grandpa and aunts) have told my niece and nephew that Lori is a hussey and has had an affair and is getting excommunicated from our church. 100% lies. Lori has never had better church and temple attendance. She is dating. It is possible to date without sex. shocking I know.

I am tired of how they treat my sister. I am just sick of it. Lori was having an adult conversation with my parents, me, Scott, Jo Ann and John. she thinks she needs to allow the Bishops in her children's lives. She thinks they are ok. She does think telling her children lies is wrong. She said she was going to confront Ken about not lying and that if he did it again she would not let her children go over there anymore. I could not keep quiet. I yelled at Lori and 100% sure it was not me talking. I told her that this was not the first lie they had told and that they were mentally controlling and abusing her and the kids. It wasn't Ken's choice to stop it was hers. She is the one who can stop the abuse and the madness. She was the one responsible. 

That is all I said. 

The next day she came over and thanked me for holding my tongue all these years. As I sit here today I am filled with thoughts about how I didn't hold my tongue, she just did not listen. 

My father asked me what I thought of the situation and I said I didn't trust Lori to continue seperating her children and the Bishops  .I think she will be strong for a month until the Bishop family become nice again as part of their abuse cycle and then Lori will let her kids go back and then they will be filled with anxiety and fear and lies. Lori's children have a strong history of puking at night after being at the Bishops. I cannot be the only one who sees this. I cannot be the only member of the Jones family who has noticed that Lori was married in 1997 and we did not see her until 2002 when she finally came over when her son was born. I am not sure what happened during those years but they cannot be good. She finally got strength to come visit us. It seems that every time I go for a visit to Delta the Bishops have caused more hurt and pain and hate. They will not stop. I do not know what they want but I know they will continue to manipulate and distort and hurt. 

Lori came to Portland in 2011. She went back home stronger and happier and healthier. Matt did not like the new her that was stronger and opinionated. She does not remember this. I do. I remember all the times I heard she asked for help and did not get it. I remember her pain and sadness and defeated spirit. 

I am thankful my sister has found herself and her strength. I pray she can keep it. 

2 comments:

Ruth said...

Just a note to your beautiful sister, my second oldest son use to wet the bed EVERY night. I FINALLY had the guts to leave my husband, then had the guts to NOT give in to the demands of my ex to let my son go over to his house. Because if he went there, he would come home and it would take almost as many days as the next time to get him to not wet the bed. He is so much happier now. We still struggle at times, but life can be good. It sounds like she needs to be strong and not let her kids go over there. As my path of denial ended, the apple does not fall far from the tree when it comes to my ex and his parents. Maybe she needs to make a fresh start somewhere. I know it is a hard choice to make, but definitely one I would not change. If there is anything I can do, PLEASE let me know.

Jami said...

This is so heartbreaking. That cycle of abuse will never stop by the abuser.... it's easy to see as an outsider, but for the person in the middle of it, it's so sad that it just becomes their way of life. The only way they know. My brother is in a very toxic relationship that has been going on almost 4 years now. It makes me sick to see him get ran through the ringer every couple of months. But he somehow continues to go back again and again and again. It's exhuasting. I've talked about it with him till i've been blue in the face. Sometimes all we can do is pray. I hope your sister finds the strength she needs. There is no reason she and her kids need to be treated that way. They have loving grandparents in your parents and without the husband in the picture i wouldn't see a need to still be a part of that cycle. So sad. Real easy for me to say as an outsider. I'm sad for her. Prayers!