What to do on a crappy day? Eat Crepes!

This piece of deliciousness is a crepe with lemon curd and fresh strawberries with real whipped cream. 

I was so happy eating this yummy food.

I was able to leave work early Tuesday and while it was torrential rain I braved the streets and went for a crepe. I have really loved Portland. I am so blessed to have worked downtown and been to try many wonderful food places. I am so lucky. I am so fat. I am going to miss it!

Last week Todd (remember him from 1 year ago?) took me to dinner at Urbane Fondue. It was amazing.

I did not get any pictures of Urbane Fondue but it was comparable to Melting Pot. The major difference is that the meat course is not cooked in oil. Urbane Fondue uses broth and seasonings. I like this better. It cooked the meat with much more flavor. 

  I am glad I met Todd last year and while we have both moved onto other relationships we are still friends. I needed Todd's friendship so much last year. I am blessed with people in my life when I need them. I am so lucky to not be completely alone in Portland. 

Oh bless that cacao tree!

It was ChocolateFest once again. I am truly honestly loving this annual tradition of mine. 

This year I was excited to attend the fundraiser. I am counting down the days I have left in Portland. I want to soak in the local flavor as much as I can before I drive away. 

I invited Natalie Carrigan who sadly could not come due to her father being in town from Utah. He came to help Natalie and Ross paint Ross's recently purchased house. They have been dating a year and I am hoping things progress for them. They are good for each other. 

I invited the girls from my office, the office upstairs, the office downstairs, and 2 more friends. 

The day of the event arrived. I have been cramming dinners and lunches with everyone. Friday was no exception. I had lunch with a friend and had to cut it short so I could get to ChocolateFest.

I get a text-one friend cancelled. 

Another text-another friend cancelled.

I get to restaurant where we planned to meet and have happy hour appetizers preparing for the sugar overload.

No one is at the restaurant.

I wait 35 minutes and still no one. My feelings are really hurt now. I text the 2 girls from work. One texts back saying she would meet me at the event and not the dinner. She also said that the other girl was going to be 45 more minutes. 

I understand everyone is busy. I also thought I was important enough to get a text saying they were going to be over an hour late (35+45) . My feelings were really truly hurt. I ended plans early just to get stood up.  This kind of thing happens to me quite often. I hate relying on people. Most let me down. 

I decided to go home. I texted the girls and said I was upset they were late and I was going home. 

As I texted Scott on the train ride home a few tears slid down my cheek. I was embarrassed as a couple men saw and looked away. 

Lets just say that the remnants of the bag of chips I had quickly disappeared.

Fast forward to Saturday.

I decided to go to the ChocolateFest alone. I am so thrilled that I did. It was wonderful! This is the third year I have attended this fun event. The good thing was since it was not opening night it was only $10 entrance fee (vs $20). The bad thing was no bands, and it was not 21 and older crowd. The alcohol was still flowing-chocolate wine, chocolate martinis, beer etc. but add hyper kids and strollers. I see the good and bad of both crowds. 

I was so happy to taste the good chocolate. I enjoy good dark chocolate. Crappy dark chocolate is not acceptable. 

My favorite this year was Exotic Chocolates  Their chocolate was dark and high quality. I loved the flavors they had and the men working the booth were very endearing! I bought a tube of their assorted chocolate. The flavors I liked best were coconut, and mint habanero. I am excited to try the lime and the banana.

I got a couple packages of the sipping chocolate. It is way better than hot chocolate-thicker and richer. I am excited to share this with Scott. 

One of my favorites stands is the Seely Peppermint Farm. I love their soap and got a bar this year as well as some peppermint oil. I am excited to make my own peppermint patties. 

There were so many flavors of chocolate I tried. 

Mint

Thai peanut and curry

vanilla caramel

coconut

ginger

almond

vanilla mouse

cardamon mouse

Some were delicious and some were grainy. I enjoyed the smooth chocolate and that is why I loved Exotic Chocolates. 

I am so happy I went. It was the best time.

I plan on attending next year. Scott will accompany me to Portland for the weekend and let me get my dose of chocolate and local Portland fun. 

Farewell Sunrise

This morning I was going over my patient charts for the day and looked up and saw the sunrise. It was so touching to me. I loved it. I have enjoyed so many sunrises from the windows on the 7th floor of The Medical Dental Building in Downtown Portland. My heart had a little pang at realizing that this will be one of the few more I will experience.

I will miss Mt St Helens and Mt Ranier just to the left.

I will miss the geese. This picture is taken of the field between my apartment complex and the Beaverton Transit Center (where major bus lines and max train converge). 

I feel icky today. I was made to feel insecure about my decision to be with Scott and about my reason to move; leaving the best job I have ever (and possible will) had. Dr M has been conducting interviews this week. It has been hard to watch the women come in competing for my job. I suddenly got territorial about my hygiene department and especially  my patients! This primal urge caused me to question the wisdom in leaving the position. Then a friend and office web designer emailed  me questioning my decision to move. The the girls from the perio office upstairs questioned my decision to move. Then my patient who flat out tells us the only reason he comes to our office is because of me, told me that some people value relationships more than they should. Then the next interviewee arrived. I was suddenly overcome by insecurity and worry I was repeating history. 

I understand that general protocol states dating should last years, engagements should last as long as dating, and celibacy is not an option.  I know LDS couples have short engagements and often remain moral human beings. Maybe that is the difference. All these people who questioned my decision making ability have no concept of this moral behavior. It is foreign to them. Their liberal minds cannot comprehend that it is possible to commit to someone I have not 'test driven'. Their level of acting on faith is not acceptable. Facts are concrete and easier to comprehend.  I cannot let these people make me doubt my feelings and doubt what I know. I know moving to Utah will be a good decision for me. I know moving to Portland was a good decision and while that decision caused me much pain it also made me stronger and was a good decision. If I am destined to hurt again then I will. I am going to go, grasp this chance, learn new things, meet new people, probably try a new job, give my heart, share some love, come home to someone, trust my heart, have faith, and become a wife.

Whew

I gave notice to my dear Dr M. I am moving back to Utah. There are moments where I experience sheer terror at quitting the best job of my life and there are more moments of utter happiness and peace. I know I am scared and that the picking up and moving my life is similar to what I did 3 years ago with Dan and that ended in heartbreak. I know I am scared because i dont like change. I know I am at peace because Heavenly Father loves me so much that he keeps sending the calming Holy Ghost to remind me I am doing what He wants. I know Scott is patient and keeps texting and telling me how much he adores me and loves me and what a catch I am. His effort to shower me with adoration and reassurance has really helped me. I am scared and excited!