Yesterday I had this patient that we in the dental world call a PITA (pain in the ass) patient. I was warned that he would start telling me dirty jokes. Now it is one thing to hear an off color joke from a friend but to hear one from a old trucker guy with an oxygen tank is totally disgusting! He starts to tell me a joke and I stop him and say 'Is this going to make my ears burn? Cause I do not do that.' I was dead serious. Luckily he did not tell me any dirty jokes just lame ones about politicians. Anyway I took the xrays and noticed radiographic calculus. I was pissed as hell. I was hoping that the xrays lied. I started probing and shit they were right! So now I have to bring him back for SRP for 4 quads! I am not happy! Well luckily I saw him again today. He starts off telling me a joke he told me yesterday while looking at my boobs. So now I am pissed....which surprises me because last night I went to a piano concert and wore a great sweater that screamed look at my boobs...I just do not understand myself....How dare this PITA patient stare at my chest! Sometimes when I start concentrating I have been known to close in on my patient and give them a free boob rub. Today I made sure that he was far away from me even though the mesial of 20 and 27 were buggers and had huge boulders at the base of the pockets. Then Mr Pita tells me that I could take him home and that he is an excellent chef and would cook for me. I told him 'no, I would get in trouble'. He was all of the sudden afraid and said that he would have to watch himself because we were both attached. I said 'Yup'. He asked if I was attached and I was a little offended. I mean he is alright flirting, telling dirty jokes, and boob drooling as long as I am not attached. I mean he is freaking married! So I looked him in the eye and said No I am not attached but YOU ARE! He started apologizing about being such a flirt. I just ignored him. I was done with him and his stories about how much he missed 'hanky panky'. Yeah...can you believe he told me that. I was instantly transported back to the pharmacy where I had to endure the details of a dirty middle aged man whose 'monkey' was limp. Damn. Why do people have to tell their health professionals intimate details?
Bre...funniest thing happened today. My third patient today was reading a book. Yup, she was reading Xenocide...book two of Ender's Game. I laughed and told her all about you! Then her husband comes in and we start talking about the books and he jokingly starts looking around for sand to comb straight...you will know what I mean when you read the rest of the series. I think the series are worth reading even if they are not my favorites. Thank you for the new books to read! I will be looking into 'Water for Elephants'!
And to my newest fans at CDC...welcome to my little world!
6 comments:
Way to stand your ground, that little perv! I hope his teeth fall out. But they won't, because you're too good of a hygenist. ;-) See you Sunday!
Wow, now that is a day you wont soon forget. I, being one who is lacking in the chest region, have often wondered what it would be like to have boobs patients would think about when my chest was so close to their head, but after this story I am a little more satisfied with my "leaving something to be desired" chest! How ironic that he was reading that book, I will have to finish the series now, I'm glad to know it is worth it, I had sort of wrote them off. sorry about the obcessive amount of comments on your last post, after I was past the point of no return (dont you love that movie) I felt like super nerd! But I guess I am not fooling anyone, I am supernerd
Yuck!! Some people! Way to tell him....that story reminds me of so many days at the VA! Not that i have any kind of a chest...just those perverted guys! I can't believe all the snow you have! Remember the long day home from SL that took like 4 hours? Yikes! Hope you're doing well!
Oh, WOW! When I had my bood job done I was working for Highway Patrol on Capitol Hill. Anyway I worked with troopers but the worst one was my Lt. He always staired. Now I know when you get a boob job people are going to look but just don't be so flippin obvious about it. I can still remember the stair. I almost wanted to say...um, my eyes are up here Lt. Yuk.
Nice!! I love dirty old men, with old dirty balls!! J/K!! Sick!! Anyway, you're just too damn nice. I would've told him that if he couldn't behave himself i'd get the dentist to clean his teeth!
Can't wait to see ya in couple weeks!
You silly girl, haven't you learned that you need to go to Wal-Mart, buy one of those fake diamond rings (make sure it is a big ol diamond though ha) and "fake it till you make it." Make sure to comment, "Oh, my husband bought me such a big diamond i have a hard time fitting my glove over it." Then the hottie patient comes along and that ring suddenly gets put in the drawer.
Yup- speaking from experience. Hello, i was an assistant in Vegas.
That ring also comes in handy when you are doing nothing on a friday night, and just want to go show shopping, but not feel dumb you are out alone on a friday night!! Ha!
Boise yet???
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