Tuesday, August 04, 2009

What Are the Odds?



I am a letter writer. I love to write letters and mail them. I love receiving letters even more! It is so fun to go to the mailbox and have something beside statements and bills!
My Grandma Jones started me off with letters. One summer she and I wrote to each other every 5 days. She lived in Idaho and it would take 2 days to get there. She would immediately write back and 2 days later I would have my response. I wrote back as fast as I could also. It is a wonderful memory I have.
I have stopped writing letters due to the convenience of email and cell phones. When I was younger it cost a lot to call long distance...now not so much. It is easier and cheaper to stay connected today. But I still long for letters and snail mail. I keep looking for stationary. Major paper companies have some version that is computer friendly...not pen friendly (lined ). I have been hunting for some cute stationary. I have searched all over Portland and pretty much everywhere there is paper I browse to see if they have what I want.
Yesterday I took He Who Must Not be Named 12 yr old daughter to the mall. We had a horrible experience...more about that later. What I found funny is that we went into Sanrio. It is a Hello Kitty store. I am thinking fondly of Maria as I am following the daughter around. I spy some stationary. And sure enough they have this cute stationary. You cannot see it but there is Hello Kitty in the watermark on this paper. I thought how ironic my life is that the only stationary I can find is just TOO CUTE for me to buy. How sad. I was almost excited. I guess I am stuck with email and phone calls.
On to the next story
The bad experience is this...I unexpectedly found myself alone with said daughter for the day. I suggested going downtown to the library so I could get a book that was waiting for me. And then we could walk down to the mall 2 blocks away. Well we get to the mall and she starts asking for me to purchase things for her green bras, hello kitty wallet, sleeveless shirts, ribboned headbands stuffed animals etc. I kept saying no. I said that if she wanted it she would have to wait for her dad to be off work and then bring him back and he could purchase items he thought were appropriate. I said multiple times I did not have money to spend today and that we were just looking. Well we were in a candy store and she came up to me and said...'I want candy. Give me all your money.' I said 'WHAT?' She said I want all your change. I was so floored. Immediately my blood boiled. Money is a private thing for me. I also think money should be earned not given. I turned to her and said 'that is the wrong thing to say to me.' And then I told her we were leaving and I was taking her home. So I did. Of course when her father came home I told him my side of the story. Shortly thereafter I received a call from daughter and she apologized but she thought we were in the mall for the sole purpose of buying her something. I accepted the apology but later when I got off the phone I realized I explained several times that I did not have money and that she would have to ask her father. So she knew we were not there to buy her things. Anyway, I was so hurt by her demanding nature. I do not owe her anything. But from a step daughter point of view is she just testing my boundaries? Does she really believe her father owes her for not being there all the time and therefore she thinks I owe her....I dont know how to be a step mom. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I dont know what to do. And since she has moved with her mom and her step dad to Portland I will be seeing her more often. First off I will let He Who Must Not Be Named know he cannot assume I will be around to 'babysit'/entertain his daughter.

6 comments:

Lori England said...

I did not know you loved mail so much! I will have to mail you more. But I tend to ramble more in letters. Oh honey be strong! You are going to get ran over with babysitting the daughter. If you are going to be around her alot you have got to set the ground rules and stick to them. Kids need rules in their life. She will respect you in the end if you stick to your guns! Trade sex for babysitting!

Em said...

Oh, Mair, that's a hard one. You've got to find some way to build a relationship with her...find something you have in common. You're on touchy ground.

Em said...

So, is that a no for thursday? Just thought I'd check, just incase.

Maria said...

Yowzers. Kids suck, especially when they're not your own. Stand your ground. She's testing you to see if you'll break. I feel sorry for, being bounced around and competing for affection from her mom and dad. You did the right thing.

Maria said...

P.S. Hello Kitty rocks!

Melissa Rees said...

Wow. That's a doozy. I'm glad you stuck to your guns, though. Money should be earned!! She was definitley trying to test you! Sorry for the lack of comments. Private blogs won't update on my blog. I will try to be better!