Sunday, February 27, 2011

Beautiful flowers


These are the beautiful roses David gave me yesterday. My counter is full of flowers from Todd ,a plant from Todd (I named her Dot) and now the roses. My home teachers laughed at me.
All joking aside. The man who asked for my email in the previous post emailed me. Then today I got an email from his girlfriend ha ha ha ha ha men are such pigs.
David, like Todd is not an LDS man. I have really been evaluating my life long dreams. It is really really hard letting go of some of them. I realize I am not what LDS men want-proof is my life. That leaves all the other men out there. Some of the men are willing to follow my moral 'rules', some are not. Some support me in going to church and living my lifestyle, some do not. All look at porn.
This bothers me so bad. Why cant I have a good moral man? Is it harder for men than women to be moral? I testify it has not been easy. But I have and am doing it. Why cant they?
I think of porn as a highly addictive drug, like cocaine. would you allow cocaine to be in your life?
I have realized I have to give up on temple marriage, children, and sitting with my spouse in church, do I have to give up on finding a man who is porn-fee?

5 comments:

Ruth said...

Oh how I wonder about porn. I believe that most men are drawn to it. Many who go to church. It can be addictive, but to others not. I think it depends on the personality. If someone is looking to avoid one addiction, then they find something to fill it with. Working can be addictive, if one lets it be. But it is like the conversation I had at work with a coworker, it depends on how much "crap" one is willing to take in a marriage. Some men see women give a little, then will push to get more. Make some concessions for companionship, but not many. Because the wrong man will take advantage of it. The right one is out there and he is porn free.

Kim said...

Due to recent talks from my bishop, that possibility seems more and more remote. But, maybe if you move to uncharted territories where there is no technology... ?

Lori England said...

Do not loose all your standards. Stay strong and life will some how work out.

Melissa Rees said...

Ya I'm convinced all men look at porn too. I constantly grill Terry about it. I'm sure he doesn't, but the temptation must be very hard. There is someone out there for you, I know it!

Maria said...

Why do men look at so much porn? I don't get it, at all. It's an unrealistic fantasy and they'll never be satisfied.