Time Honored Tradition

I have finally achieved old lady status!

Yesterday we had a Stake Humanitarian activity. Each quilt brought a quilt to tie and we collected small appliances, diapers, pjs, etc for the local Women's Shelter. This first picture is my ward's quilt. We had more sisters helping but they left to help load the trailer with all the collected items. 

This is the majority of the ladies tying quilts. I was sitting there and realized I was part of history. The Relief Society has quilted hundreds of quilts each year and probably millions over the years. It is a time honored tradition. We had a nice quick morning. We started at 10 am. Our quilt was done first--before 11 am. We had lunch at 11:15 am, had speaker, cleaned up chairs and tables etc and home by 12:30. It was a good day and proof that many hands--even old arthritic ones make light work. 

ISO dumping ground

I have been thinking about going to a therapist, a counselor, a paid friend, a shrink, whatever you want to call them. I need one. I cannot let myself trust anyone with my deep secrets and concerns. I dont want this therapist to tell me what to do. I just need to let some stuff out and know for sure that no one will know and that I wont be judged and condemned for my thoughts and feelings. I mean they are just thoughts and feelings not actions. I do not even feel comfortable writing on this blog, even though I only give access to people I trust.  Anyway, this has been a 4 year desire of mine and I keep finding excuses not to have this expense. The end.

Ethical or Money Maker

Well friends, here I sit, wondering who I am and what kind of dental hygienist I want to be/have been/will be. It is a deep question. In school I was frequently told that I do not talk to my patients professionally; while I thought I was having wonderful appropriate bonding conversations with may patients. I have constantly shifted gears to change my behavior to match the person in my chair. For example, I am silent and only talk to give information related to procedure for those who do not want to chit chat and just want silence. I chit chat about weather, indoor soccer, home school, local events, and ward boundary changes. I change to calling the suction a vaccum, the air/water syringe is also a squirt gun--it just depends on who is in my chair. I really try to individualize teeth cleanings. To make them fun, relaxing, a place to learn, a place to talk and share all depending upon the needs of my patients.

Working in Portland I got in the habit of not taking xrays very often. Dr Mueller did not think it was necessary to take xrays every 6 months or even every year. Some patient who had several years of cavity free visits then Dr M would put them on a 2 year xray schedule. Our treatment of the patient was 100% individualized. I had one patient who came every 9 months, one who came every 2 months. It was all tailored to what the patient needed to have a healthy mouth.

I move back to Utah and Dr Turnbow in Duchesne likes xrays every year. So that is what I do. I also work for Dr Monfredi who pays me on commission. It is customary to take xrays every 6 months no matter what. I did this because I did not want to rock the boat and I thought I was only there during a maternity leave. When I became permanent I have noticed that I have backed down. If the patient has not had a cavity in 2 years then I will not take xrays. Dr M has not said anything to me. I am sure he wants the production. I want the production. I mean I love the large paychecks I get with Dr M. I get bitter when I go to Duchesne and make an hourly wage which is low--but still more than flipping burgers--I get bitter. I know that the front office girl in Duchesne gets a bonus when the office makes production goals. I dont. So I do the bare minimum for Dr T. I do not take pano xrays unless I have to. I dont push for SRP 1-3 teeth, or fluoride treatments etc. But I do at Dr M. I have realized that do take more xrays just because insurance will pay for it. It is a spot I do not like.

Part of me says it does not matter, the patient does not pay for it, the insurance does. The other part of  me says I do not need to excessively take xrays. I love making $*00 to $^00 a day. I love it! It makes me proud to work hard and get paid well. I love having the goal and the reward. I do not want to be one of those over treatment dental professionals.  I want to treat each patient individually. I want to give them the best care that I can. My plan is to keep working hard, taking xrays, giving fluoride treatments and diagnosing periodontal disease. I am going to walk the fine line between needed treatment and making large paychecks. I feel that is the best choice for me. I am not going to feel pressure from co workers to bill differently. I am going to do what I know is right.

2014 Holidays

Well here it is January 4, 2015. The tree is down, the decorations are boxed up, the christmas cookies are gone, the 5 pounds are around here somewhere and the new church time has begun.

Scott and I have been hoarding all of our money, all bonuses, all earnings etc so we decided not to spend money on each other for Christmas. Luckily I had purchased all gifts prior to October and was able to save all our money. I gave Scott a coupon book. Not as cool as Cooper coupons (Big Bang Theory) but pretty great nonetheless. Scott was able to sneak a 3 month membership to our local rec center so that I can have a warm place to walk during the bitter Basin winter! He is very thoughtful of me!

We were able to get out of Vernal on Christmas Eve about 3 pm. We made it to Delta before the snow storm.We played Doodle Dice and Pit. It was a great time! We were able to stay until Dec 26th. I cried and cried when I left. It was a tough separation this time.

We get home to Vernal and get stuff done and ready for the work week and Scott told me he would take me back to Delta over New Years. How sweet! I was able to to Thurs, Fri and Sat. We were the only ones there. No grandkids to share my parents with just the 4 of us. It was wonderful. We relaxed, went shopping, fixed a flat tire on my mom vehicle and enjoyed adult conversation. It was wonderful. I left without tears and feeling much better about our separation.

Now to the part of Scott's job update and reason for us hoarding money. DRC is the company Scott works for. It has been tough watching him work for this company. They do not appreciate him at all. Scott went out to Salt Lake area and tried to view several semi trucks. He has decided to work for himself. He went to the bank and was able to get a loan. He and his mechanic friend went looking for trucks they found off KSL. Everything went wrong. He was unable to talk to owners, Owners failed to arrive to show the truck etc. Scott was very frustrated. I tried to help him understand that is how Heavenly Father works. Scott is not as experienced in spiritual things and needs a little reminding. He tried to relax but was anxious to quit DRC. Later that week he found a truck here in Vernal. It came with  $400 worth of hoses, 2 extra tires with rims, and some other parts for the truck. He came out with $800 plus of perks with the truck. Plus the truck while old has been taken care of and has not mechanical problems. It will definitely work for our first year of working for ourselves.

The man who sold us the truck was able to give Scott a name of a man looking to hire owner-operators--Cole. Cole has been working a deal for a month. He keeps getting pushed off for one reason or another and then the 2 week holiday period hit and all decision makers were out of office until Jan 5. Cole said he has ways of encouraging them to accept the deal. Once they do, Scott will have work for himself! Before Christmas we went to an accountant and started a company. We almost have everything in order for when Scott starts working he can do it under his new company name. Scott came up with Samas Trucking. (Scott and Mary Ann Stewart). I really like the name. It is perfect for us. I am pretty excited, nervous, anxious, worried, hopeful, proud, and happy that we are starting our own company and Scott is getting the opportunity to prove how good he really is.

I cannot believe how much we have been blessed! Heavenly Father has been helping us every single day!

I need to give a brief history of DRC. It was started about 5 years ago. Scott has worked there for 2.5 years. He is the second longest employee. Bret is the most senior. In 2012 DRC was hit with IRS fines for not filing quarterly taxes. 2013 they paid them all off and made a good profit. 2014 DRC had a DOT audit and fines. We never heard how much the fines were but I can imagine it was extensive due to the amount of failures there were. DRC purchased several trucks. they overpaid for these trucks. They were not worth the amount paid and needed $20,000 plus each to get them ready to use. DRC also purchased a piece of land for a future shop but the road is not developed or ready for semi traffic so it is not being used. The Christmas party this year had bags of candy for employees instead of the previous years raffle of great big ticket items. Rumor is that DRC had to borrow money to cover last payroll. That being said---

Bill Barrett is a large company who owns and runs a lot of oil wells. DRC has 40 plus wells they get water from in the Bill Barret field. It is a large part of the company. Most of the drivers work in Barrett, most of the income comes from Barrett etc. Bret a 25 year old kid who was in the right place at the right time is the manager of the Barrett field for DRC. Bret took Scott's job. I personally do not like Bret. He is LDS and is everything I hate about LDS businessmen. He likes the drivers who are LDS and favors them and gives the actual drivers that work hard and follow DOT laws and do not break the equipment the bad or hard wells. Bret is not a good manager in my book. He isnt fair at all! Bret said last week that DRC should shut down all the fields except Barrett. So the fields Scott works in. Bret thinks Barrett field is the money maker. Bret is having a hard time making money in Finley filed. Scott worked Finley field for 1.5 years and made money for the company. Bret is not running it right. But what can you do? Bret does not understand that Finley is paid by the barrel (31 gallons in 1 barrel). So having the largest tank in Finley so each load is 170 barrels instead of 120 barrels makes sense--but Bret took the 170 and put it in Barrett for the easy loads. So no wonder Finley is not making money anymore. UGH!

Dec 31 the DRC mechanic was called into the office to talk with the secretary about notice she received from Barrett field. Barrett told DRC that DRC must have a DOT safety rating of C or better in order to work in the Barrett field. DRC currently had a DOT safety rating of a D. They have to raise it by February 1st or else DRC is kicked out of Barrett field. I am laughing so hard. Bret has been telling his drivers NOT to run with DOT logs because the fine is cheaper for not having one that having one not filled out right. He also does not make his drivers do truck inspections to ensure their truck is safe to drive-like flat tires, hoses secured, lights working etc. So when drivers get pulled over they do not have documentation and get tickets which go against the DOT safety rating. the speeding tickets do not but the safety ones do. Make sense? So here is Bret the little savior of DRC and here is why not following the rules is bad. Bret is always getting mad at Scott when Scott was in charge of his drivers because Scott would not make his drivers work over hours, and he made them wash the truck and keep the truck clean because cops see dirty semi trucks and think if it is dirty it must be lacking in other safety areas. So Scott keeps records, truck inspections, DOT logs, Dispatch logs etc and was not fined at all during the DOT audit. But Bret was. Now DRC might loose Barrett field due to not keeping these rules. I am loving the karma, justice, just desserts--whatever. It is awesome!  I am not sure what is going to happen. I do not know how DRC can raise their DOT grade in one month. If it is like tickets it takes time to get off your drivers license I imagine it is the same for companies. It will be some miracle if DRC is able to stay in business for more than a year. I am not sure if Bret has learned to follow the law yet or not.

I am so thankful that DRC demoted Scott for no reason (Owner told Scott it was growing pains). The demotion gave Scott the push he needed to get his own truck. We were able to get a good truck for a good price with all the equipment needed for the oil field.  We were able to get in on a deal that should be done in a few weeks. We are able to jump the sinking DRC ship. Without the demotion we would not have been saving money, or starting a new company, We would be with the Barrett guys all looking for work and wondering what the future holds. With gas prices dropping it is making the oil field unstable and many are worried about the future. I am not worried. Scott is going to be successful. Many people know him and know how he works. They know Bret and do not like him. I am not stressing out that my husband's job might be gone. I am happy. I am calm, I am so blessed! The injustice of the demotion has been vindicated--in my little world!

On a side note Bret bought a $30,000 boat this year and a $300,000 plus house this year. He is father of 2 young girls. The house is 7 bdr, 5 bath. He decided to get the big house because last year DRC did so well that he might as well get what he wants. I am laughing so hard. Bret does not have good reputation in the oil field. If he looses his job at DRC he might be in too deep. Where Scott and I bought a small house, no boat, no truck, and if Scott looses his job we will be fine for quite a few months. I am so glad we did not buy a larger house--Scott was pre approved for way more house than we got. We are so blessed! I cannot begin to think how worried I could be. But I am not. I am happy.

Here is to 2015! Here is Samas Trucking. Here is to following the law, paying taxes and doing what we think is right. I hope your 2015 is great also!

Thanksgiving 2014

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What a great time of year we get to have celebrations of gratitude. 

This year Scott and I were able to celebrate alone. Just the two or three if you count that little pup. Scott is working Thursday. Wednesday Scott and I prepared our meal and had a wonderful day of counting our blessings! We decided to try a deep fried turkey. Neither of us have prepared or eaten a deep fried turkey. I love new adventures with this guy!

Scott is watching the turkey cook. We dug deep in the store freezer to get a 11.87 lb turkey. It is such a scrawny thing.  It almost looks like a chicken! Poor tiny turkey!

Look at that golden brown turkey! YUM!

The turkey cooked in a record 42 minutes! Woot woot! It was such a nice day that being outside was such a pleasure! I love spending time with Scott! I am so very thankful for him in my life!

Here is my gluttonous plate of food! Just look at that turkey leg! I mean just look at it! Do not on the other hand look at the gravy! the gravy reminded me of pasty gloop-but it tasted wonderful!!! 

I loved every bite of this meal! It was one of the best meals I have had! I am sure it had a lot to do with Scott helping by making the turkey and stuffing (with freeze dried celery and onions--we are testing out Thrive products to see what we think--we think they are wonderful; but I digress) and helping me in all ways to have this meal! Then he helped me clean up! It was such a good day and I am thankful for all the things in our life! 

On a personal note--Tuesday Scott was told that he was not dispatcher/supervisor anymore and that they were docking his pay and Brett (a big fat jerk in my book) was taking his job. While I am relieved that Scott's stress level will be reduced and that the phone will stop ringing 15-20 times daily, I am sad and angry that this company could punish Scott for doing nothing wrong. But the company thinks Brett knows everything and is the golden boy. We are going to sit and watch Brett fail in the meantime we are going to save every last penny to purchase our own truck and go into business for ourselves. It is going to be hard. We have to pinch pennies now due to pay loss while saving for a truck. 

I am so tired of this company not realizing how hard Scott works and how many hours he puts in. But I guess Brett will find out soon enough. Sigh. It sure has been a heart breaking, self esteem killing, trust breaking, hard change to make Thanksgiving. 

I am immensely  proud of Scott. I am very proud to be his wife! And of course I am thankful for him, thankful I know him, am loved by him, have him in my life! I am a very blessed woman!

I hope y'all have a wonderful day of thanks!

I am preparing to sit in my pajamas and watch movies and knit. Oh yeah!

Halloween and Heber Creeper!

Halloween 2014! Here is the cutest Superman! Kevin is about 18 months and just a sweetie! He does a little American Sign Language and it is just precious! His parents are deaf and he is not. He reminds me of when his dad was a boy. Daniel was a busy boy. He was constantly getting into drawers and cupboards; making messes as he went. We had long yard sticks that we ran down through the drawer handles to keep him out. We also had a lock on the refrigerator because he loved to take eggs and crack them on the floor and bring the cats from outside to eat them. Oh the trouble he caused. And I see the same curious mischievous mind in Kevin, his son. 

Kevin sure is cute! Daniel, Hilaree and Kevin; and my sister Jo Ann and her husband John met Scott and I at Heber Valley Railroad to ride the once called Heber Creeper. 

Scott and I did not dress up. We were the odd men out. 

Daniel and Hilaree. 

Kevin giving rocks! 

Father and son--Superman all the way!

Blurry but so cute! I love these two!

Jo Ann is a great Minion. She is too cute! John is a golfer and looked amazing. His current profession is grounds keeper at the golf course in Delta. He has a degree in horticulture and knows how to keep those greens wonderful! He is a pretty impressive man! My sister is very lucky to have him. 

We all had a great time on the train. When Kevin got home he asked if he could go again. That is so cute! 

I am so glad my family loves me and indulges my planning of events. I am so thankful for them. I know I am a planner. I know I like to try new things. I also know that Jo and Daniel are great sports. It means so much to me to have people follow through on the plans. I am truly not offended if they choose not to participate! My sister Lori, and brother Brent chose not to come. I am not upset at all. I would be upset if they agreed to come and then 'no showed'. That would have hurt my feelings! 

Daniel comes to Vernal once in a while for work. It is so nice to have him visit! He is moving in a few days to Cedar City. I am happy for them, but am sad that he will no longer be doing service calls to Vernal anymore and I will not get to see him as much. I love Cedar City! Cedar is very far from the Vernal perspective! What makes it worse is Kevin is going to be a brother in April and I will e so very far away! I guess I better get working on my long over due teleporter!

Christmas at Gardner Village.

The girls from work like to go to Witchfest at Gardner Village. We have gone for 2 years. This year we had a tragic funeral the day after we planned on going. So we postponed it until this weekend--thinking we would be ahead of the crowds for Christmas. I have not been to Gardner Village for Christmas. It was wonderful!

The candy store had the biggest black bear I have seen. It is just soft and snuggly and wonderful! 

The elf displays were just 100% adorable! The details and creativity are impressive! 

Just adorable to me!

I had a great day out with Eden. Out of 4 women who decided and agreed to go only 2 (me and one other) came. I am thankful for Eden for staying committed and not flaking out. 

Flaking out, sick kids, dog being wounded by car, or whatever the excuse/reason it is hard for me. I am not sure if it is the failed expectations or the reaffirmation that I dont matter. It hurts. It just hurts.

I am tired of women. Consistently in my life I make plans with women who claim to be my friend and most of the time they flake out with one of thousands of excuses I have heard. While in my 20's I believed the women, forgave, repeated, was stood up again. In my 30's I drastically reduced my female friends and started becoming a loner and home body. Now I am 40 and I am just sick of it. I think I will just not agree to go on any girls day out adventures, lunches, or parties. 

Why dont women keep their word? Am I picking looser women to hang out with? The only thing I can think of is no one wants to hang out with me. I get that but dont invite me! Dont agree to come with me! Dont lie to me!

My heart just cannot take the rejection. I am tired of taking time and planning to go somewhere just to end up going alone. 

Oh well. I guess I will just continue with my belief that I am not meant to have a female friend. And it is awkward having male friends now that I am married. I just feel so alone and friendless.